Heartache

Sitting in the cafeteria about an hour ago I sat listening to snip-its of conversations flowing around me. "If a gun was pointed at your head would you say you knew Jesus" or something like that. I was encouraged that people around me were thinking about the end and asking others what they would do. I was looking around decided to pray. Pray for those who were lost. I know that there is a great need here in Bemidji. I know that I am in Bemidji for a reason, and I hope that my contribution to the campus will be one that is glorifying to God. 

This summer changed my life. I spent a full week healing, and recovering from years of baggage. By no means am I fully healed but the process has begun. I dug deep, with the help of God speaking through my pp ;), and although my pride had to come down for me to be able to attack what needed to be broken down, in the end I was a new person. The number one thing I brought out from that experience of soul searching was the final acceptance that God/Jesus/Holy Spirit is and always has been my father. One who can not and will not disappoint, leave, or hurt me. The foundation of my being was broken and replaced by truth. The walls of lies that I have allowed myself to believe for years and years were finally broken down to my core. My deepest being now consists of the knowledge that I am never along, my heavenly Abba Daddy is never gone. He has never left, not from the moment of conception and will not leave me ever...not even when I die. 

With this realization comes the conclusion of my reason for writing this "Heartache". My heart aches for those who refuse to acknowledge God as the ultimate everything. As being whatever you have missed out on or have had taken away from you. He never leaves, even when you turn your back on him and refuse his grace and love. He never leaves. I pray that BSU finds the love of Jesus Christ so compelling by the example of His followers that our campus is changed forever.